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    Moreover, perhaps folks aren’t considering that the partner-less fat girls simply remain invisible to you, and the thick girls with guys are visible, precisely because they are an anomaly.

    What I’m getting at is something much more fundamental. Several months ago I was in a bar/lounge type spot, with a group of 7 or 8 homegirls.

    I’m all those things in a culture that not only hates fat, and finds it repulsive, but also in a culture where fat dark-skinned women can only find roles in movies as maids.

    Even so, one could argue that these mainstream films reflect the desires of white America, or more to the point, white men, and not Black men, which up to this point is the only group of men I’ve dated.

    This big girl (and I suspect every other big girl with access to a TV) doesn’t need it.

    And a third, fundamentally more well-meaning group, will come over an give anecdotes about all the thick chicks they know who have male partners.

    I also have both short and long term goals for doing so. So please save the condescending lectures (and arm-chair therapy) for someone else.

    Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?

    I wish I could say that this experience was isolated, but it’s been more the rule rather than the exception for me.

    I like my curves, I like ass, I like my legs, I like my boobs (which I only have in abundance, when I’m tipping the scales), and I like my face.

    But the fact remains that I’m a short, dark-skinned, fat Black girl, with a natural.

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