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    Third, once you decide that you are ready to date, look to God's Word to decide the kind of person to date, and evaluate potential dating partners on those criteria, rather than relying primarily on the world's treatment of ideas like "attraction" and "chemistry." I wrote at some length on this in my article, "Brother, You're Like a Six." For you busy singles with time for only one mildly irritating column per day, the summary is this: Pick a potential dating partner with an eye toward godly manhood and womanhood — with an eye toward who would make a good husband or wife, defined by those characteristics esteems in His Word, not the ones Hollywood likes. My group also helps men who were in failed relationships with the most unapproachable women in Europe.


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    He and his wife's sister finally had sex after years of mutual, erotic teasing.Suddenly they were in the midst of an affair that neither wanted to end.She knew that "getting back" at her husband wasn't going to produce empowerment or healing, but nevertheless began a disastrous affair.She subsequently discovered that the man was only interested in a narcissistic conquest, and he quickly dumped her.Of course the public always enjoys being titillated with stories of public figures' affairs, especially when hypocrisy is exposed.But cultural attitudes have clearly shifted to-wards acceptance of affairs.Soon they realized that a very intimate and emotionally close bond had developed.

    As John later told me, "As great as the sex was, we didn't really have much to say to each other. Rachel began realizing the depth of her anger and resentment towards her husband after years of an unhappy marriage.Suddenly we found ourselves talking, feeling like we had known each other for years." The affair "just "happened," George added. Another one sounding a bit more "strategic" came from Jan, a 41 year-old lawyer.She told me that her affair was a "marriage stabilizer..and discreet, a perfect solution for me." She decided it was a rational alternative to the disruption of divorce.George began by telling me that "She was standing off by herself during a conference break, leaning against a wall, sipping coffee."As I walked by, our eyes met and I felt a sudden jolt -- a rush of energy, real connection.

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